Knowing God in weakness

Well, guys. I got sick again. That means that a good bit of the past week was spent in my bed. Fortunately, I happen to like my bed. It does get kind of old after a few days.

Learning to rest

I seem to have fallen into a pattern the last few years of getting sick about once a month except for the summertime. In high school, I was too involved in my classes and music stuff to be able to miss school when I got sick, so I was pretty much only allowed to stay home if I had a fever. That means that I learned to push through when I was not feeling well.

I’m on the world race now. That means that there is way more space to step back and let others take the lead while I’m sick. It was so crazy for me to have people telling me that it was in fact okay to stay in my bed and rest. I embraced the opportunity and pretty much just stayed home and chilled for a few days, just sleeping and listening to music and resting up.

Resting in relationship

Before we came to Albania, we did some vision casting to see what God was highlighting to teach us through our time here. My two main themes were rest and relationship. With having more space to myself than in any of the previous countries, I have had more opportunity to lean into just sitting with God and spending time with Him. I think that may be where a lot of that joy I talked about in the last blog is coming from. There is so much peace in the Lord and in living with Him. But that’s also something I have to choose into. There are plenty of distractions that can draw me away from intentionally being with God, and I’m learning how worthwhile it is and how restful it is to push past those. Our relationship with God is something that we have to invest time into, just like any other relationship. If I want to be best friends with God, and I do, then how I spend my time should reflect that.

I found a connection!

Yesterday afternoon I was chilling with God and reading my Bible for a while. I’m going chronologically, so right now I’m hopping mostly between 2 Samuel and the Psalms. I’m at the part where David’s son Absolom is trying to take over the kingdom from his father, and David has to flee because at this point basically the whole nation is against him except the group that’s fleeing with him. A couple of things stood out to me:

“And David was going up the ascent of the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went, and his head was covered, and he was walking barefoot. Then all the people who were with him each covered his own head, and they were going up, weeping as they went.”
‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭15‬:‭30‬

“And the king said to Zadok, “Return the ark of God to the city. If I find favor in the sight of the Lord, then He will bring me back and show me both it and His habitation. But if He says this: ‘I have no delight in you,’ then here I am, let Him do to me as seems good to Him.””
‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭15‬:‭25‬-‭26‬

David is fleeing from his own people and going up the Mount of Olives, and this is easily one of the lowest points of his life. His own son is against him. Verses 25 and 26 tell us his perspective on his situation. He wants the Lord to protect him and bring him back to continue his reign over Israel, but he’s leaving it up to the will of God. This is where I was like, Wait, this sounds like someone else I know…

Here is Mark’s account of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before His death:

“They came to a place named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, “Sit here until I have prayed.” And He took with Him Peter, James, and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. And He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch.” And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began praying that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. And He was saying, “Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.””
‭‭Mark‬ ‭14‬:‭32‬-‭36‬ ‭

I looked it up, and the Garden of Gethsemane was at the foot of the Mount of Olives. Jesus and David were in essentially the same place with very similar circumstances. They both are both kings. Their people are both out to have them killed. They both have only a small group of supporters left: David has his family and some friends and Jesus has basically just His disciples. They are both deeply distressed and weeping. Both are asking God for deliverance, but they’re acknowledging that they will submit to whatever the Lord’s will is for them. I personally feel like that is a lot of parallels, and I just think it’s super cool how much foreshadowing there is of Jesus whole life in the Old Testament.

Spoiler alert: David doesn’t get killed. Absalom does get killed, but that’s as far as I got.

Update: I wrote everything before now probably a week ago? Since then, David has been reinstated as king, died, and now Solomon is king and he‘s supposed to build the temple.

What God is teaching me now

Reliance on Him

God has been teaching me to rely on Him throughout the whole race, but this week He is teaching me to rely on Him for what‘s coming when I get back home. I have already been accepted to Cedarville University, but for some reason this is the week I decided to start thinking about what major I want to pursue and subsequently how I feel God is leading me in terms of what ministry could look like for me in India.

I have also been trying to work on applying for scholarships so that I can actually pay for college, which is also quite nerve wracking. I just really don‘t to rack up a bunch of debt. My parents trained me pretty well in that.

In that, I‘m learning that even with all I can do, it is still the Lord who will provide a way for me with ministry and the finances I need for school. He has a plan, and it is good. I know that because He is good. He is Jehovah Jireh, and He will provide.

With finances, it‘s super awesome because I am 18 years old and I have already seen Him provide $17,000 for this gap year through many of you. If God can provide like that through His people, He can provide for my college expenses, too.

God has also always provided the next step for me when I needed it. He led me to this gap year with no real doubt in my mind of what I was supposed to do. Based on His character, I‘m sure I will know my major and my career path when I need to. And if I‘m not convicted on specifics, that could just mean He‘s leaving that choice up to me. I just need to seek Him in prayer, and He will not leave me without answers. He‘s so good and awesome and wonderful!

Prayer Requests

• Pray for our preparations for our Beauty for Ashes event (women‘s dinner thing).
• We‘re doing a Valentine’s Day outreach where we are going to be passing out little valentines with Bible verses and chocolates on the street, so pray for the people who receive those.
• Pray for continual growth in Christ for each person on my team.
• Some of my teammates are still fundraising, so pray that the Lord would provide for those needs.

Thank you all so much for keeping up with my travels. Your prayers mean a lot to me! Also, my apologies as I have taken basically no pictures in the past several weeks… oops.